[She won't ask Tiffany, not when that will come with questions about why she wants to know, so for now Rey just lets the conversation trail off a little. They've been walking long enough by now to get to her camp anyway, so once they reach the clearing she leads him towards the little grouping of trees.]
See, there are the houses. [She points with one hand, shielding her eyes from the sun with the other.] I don't think anyone has figured out who put them there yet.
[She can't really do anything but agree with that, considering the state of her arm and her back and the fact that they still show no signs of healing properly any time soon.]
The Admiral was able to provide better than I expected for us once we got dropped into that place, so maybe he was right about this being a quiet stop. This far out, no one from the ship will be able to find this place unless they know the directions and I can set up traps to keep people who stumble in away. We can be safe here, unless you want to lock yourself up in the ship.
Nah. I'm too fucking tired, and from the sounds of it, the things that would happen to me in death back there won't happen to me in it this time around. If we launch into some kind of war, I'm borrowing that moonsword and schwoom, schwooming it.
[He says, affecting some very aggressive sawing at his own neck.]
[It's not necessarily new that Alfie can say things that bring Rey up short, have her stuck for a second before she can figure out how to proceed in the conversation, but this is different. This is something she can't understand for the life of her because it's so different from how she's lived her entire life. Life on Jakku could feel impossible at the best of times, but she's never felt like ending her life was the appropriate response to struggling to stay alive.
But she's also never been tired in the way Alfie has. She's still young, for everything she's been through, everything Jakku did to her, and she knows it's not right to expect her way of think will be the only way that matters. Still, though, it has her looking at him like she's worried, scared for him. She'd risked her life to protect him only because she likes him, after all, his death is the last thing she would ever be alright with.]
Did you- would you feel that way in your own world?
[Or is it only here, where death isn't permanent, where it means something and nothing all at the same time.]
No, but there, I was happy. My life had meaning, and joy, and struggle.
[He reminds her, clearing his throat some.]
You don't know much about my work, but it was- a battle. A war. A game that I was good at, and I had friends and family and coworkers, and community and faith. I had men who were learning from me, and boys who were coming up strong in my gang, who it was a pleasure to see thrive. I had a nice mortal enemy, not Tommy, who I liked seeing thwarted. I had Tommy, who was an upstart, but a joy to do battle with.
Every now and again I think 'I'll give it a go here, it won't be so bad,' and then someone kills my girl, or tears my hands and knees off with their teeth, or picks a fight about something stupid, and I care just a little less.
[All of that makes sense, so Rey nods and leads them over to the fire pit where she's laid out a few old stumps as seats. She has some water stored here, so she hands a flask of it over, sits with him. It was, after all, a long walk.]
You are still fighting, though. After you had my lightsaber, you could have used it on yourself and left the rest of us to fight our way out on our own, but you helped. You protected me.
[She hasn't thanked him for that yet and even now that's not exactly what she's doing. It might be as close as she gets, just acknowledging she did need help.]
[Her eyes zero in on him quickly when he groans he sits and she wonders if maybe making him walk all this way wasn't the smartest thing she could have ever done.]
I'm not sure it works like that.
[Which isn't to say she isn't very glad she's been paired with Alfie, but they don't get to pick. He's absolutely who she would have chosen now that she knows him well, but in this case it was the luck of the draw and, to her, they just happened to get very lucky.]
[She knows how highly he had thought of Max, so all of that is very high praise that has her feeling a little overwhelmed, unsure what to do with the feeling of warmth that swamps her, how good it feels to know she's doing something right here. It's easier to just- change the subject, a little, guide them towards something that won't make her go all red in the face because she's getting very close to that.]
[She frowns, disappointed in herself for putting him through that walk, and nods again.]
I can get you something from the infirmary, pills to help with the pain, but there are surgical options too if you wanted to fix that for good. The things here aren't exactly like the medical droids in my world, but they're not that different.
[Not that she expects he'd ever trust anyone with something that invasive, but it does seem important to at least tell him that option exists.]
[At some point she's going to get used to that, to the idea that people want to speak to her, that people like her, but no one has ever really said it so bluntly. She looks a little surprised, but it passes quickly and she just nods.]
Would you tell me more about your work? Or did you want to talk about something else?
I grew up in London- same part of London as Eggsy, I think I told you, just about a hundred years in his past. It's the end of a war. A great, and terrible war, that destroyed just about all of us.
[That gets a quick flash of a smile out of her, but it can't last for long when she knows, at least in some small way, what that war did to the people who were part of it.]
That's almost exactly what Eggsy said when we talked about accents, even down to the time difference.
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See, there are the houses. [She points with one hand, shielding her eyes from the sun with the other.] I don't think anyone has figured out who put them there yet.
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[Says Alfie, utterly wryly. Oh well.]
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[She's nothing if not pragmatic.]
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[He says, with a long sigh.]
I'm so fucking tired of near murders.
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The Admiral was able to provide better than I expected for us once we got dropped into that place, so maybe he was right about this being a quiet stop. This far out, no one from the ship will be able to find this place unless they know the directions and I can set up traps to keep people who stumble in away. We can be safe here, unless you want to lock yourself up in the ship.
cw: suicidal ideation
[He says, affecting some very aggressive sawing at his own neck.]
cw: suicidal ideation
But she's also never been tired in the way Alfie has. She's still young, for everything she's been through, everything Jakku did to her, and she knows it's not right to expect her way of think will be the only way that matters. Still, though, it has her looking at him like she's worried, scared for him. She'd risked her life to protect him only because she likes him, after all, his death is the last thing she would ever be alright with.]
Did you- would you feel that way in your own world?
[Or is it only here, where death isn't permanent, where it means something and nothing all at the same time.]
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[He reminds her, clearing his throat some.]
You don't know much about my work, but it was- a battle. A war. A game that I was good at, and I had friends and family and coworkers, and community and faith. I had men who were learning from me, and boys who were coming up strong in my gang, who it was a pleasure to see thrive. I had a nice mortal enemy, not Tommy, who I liked seeing thwarted. I had Tommy, who was an upstart, but a joy to do battle with.
Every now and again I think 'I'll give it a go here, it won't be so bad,' and then someone kills my girl, or tears my hands and knees off with their teeth, or picks a fight about something stupid, and I care just a little less.
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You are still fighting, though. After you had my lightsaber, you could have used it on yourself and left the rest of us to fight our way out on our own, but you helped. You protected me.
[She hasn't thanked him for that yet and even now that's not exactly what she's doing. It might be as close as she gets, just acknowledging she did need help.]
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[He admits, as he sinks down in a seat, and sits back with a groan.]
It's why you're my warden.
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I'm not sure it works like that.
[Which isn't to say she isn't very glad she's been paired with Alfie, but they don't get to pick. He's absolutely who she would have chosen now that she knows him well, but in this case it was the luck of the draw and, to her, they just happened to get very lucky.]
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[Alfie explains, with a broad, expansive gesture.]
And you get paired with them so they can manage you. You, your type, brings out the best in me. That's why I have you, that's why I had little Max.
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Does that make the Max I know big Max?
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[He agrees, with a cheery nod. She's quick to catch on.]
Listen- on a different subject altogether, could you get me some help with my back?
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Is it hurting you?
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[He says, hand resting on his hip.]
And never like this before in my life, not even after the war. I'm getting old, I am.
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I can get you something from the infirmary, pills to help with the pain, but there are surgical options too if you wanted to fix that for good. The things here aren't exactly like the medical droids in my world, but they're not that different.
[Not that she expects he'd ever trust anyone with something that invasive, but it does seem important to at least tell him that option exists.]
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[Is actually the hike he means.]
But surgery is fine with me, if it works.
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[She'd been thinking of maybe asking if BB-8 could be sent along to her, but this is much more important.]
If you're alright staying here, I can go back to the ship now for the pills.
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[He assures her.]
It's not bad, once I sit down. I'd rather keep chatting than have you vanish.
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Would you tell me more about your work? Or did you want to talk about something else?
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I grew up in London- same part of London as Eggsy, I think I told you, just about a hundred years in his past. It's the end of a war. A great, and terrible war, that destroyed just about all of us.
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That's almost exactly what Eggsy said when we talked about accents, even down to the time difference.
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